"Beethoven in the park" joke

A symphony orchestra is performing Beethoven's 9th in the park. It's so windy that the music sheets need to be tied down so they won't blow away.

The tuba players just did their first bit, and they won't need to perform for a while, so they go to the bar across the street to get some drinks. Finally they hear that their next part coming soon, so they go back across the street. But they're so drunk, they can't untie the music!

So the conductor looks over, and sees the tuba players, stumbling over each other trying to untie the music. He freaks out and thinks, "Oh no! It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and the score is tied!"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

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I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

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Funny Joke? 14 vote(s). 86% are positive. 0 comment(s).