"Basic conflict between men and women..." joke

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.
To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what they're doing they can be ready in two minutes.
Women, on the other hand, are like fire. We're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right to get a real flame going.
Men and women all in all, behave just like our basic sexual elements. If you watch single men on a weekend night they really act very much like sperm - all disorganized, bumping into their friends, swimming in the wrong direction.
"I was first."
"Let me through."
"You're on my tail."
"That's my spot." They're like the Three Billion Stooges.
But the woman is like the egg - very cool: "Well, who's it going to be? I can divide. I can wait a month. I'm not swimming anywhere."

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna figure this out?

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when more...

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