"Basic conflict between men and women..." joke

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.
To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what they're doing they can be ready in two minutes.
Women, on the other hand, are like fire. We're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right to get a real flame going.
Men and women all in all, behave just like our basic sexual elements. If you watch single men on a weekend night they really act very much like sperm - all disorganized, bumping into their friends, swimming in the wrong direction.
"I was first."
"Let me through."
"You're on my tail."
"That's my spot." They're like the Three Billion Stooges.
But the woman is like the egg - very cool: "Well, who's it going to be? I can divide. I can wait a month. I'm not swimming anywhere."

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
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Knock Knock.
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Banana.
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Knock Knock.
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Banana.
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Knock Knock.
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Banana.
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Knock Knock.
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A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads' Low Bridge Ahead.'Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks more...

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