"Ballerina" joke
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed,
"Give the Ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down in one. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and boomed,
"Give the Ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the Ballerina?'"
"As far as I'm concerned," the drunk replied,
"Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a Ballerina!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...