Revealing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A driver is pulled over by a police man.
    Man: Is there a problem Officer?
    Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
    Man: Oh I see.
    Officer: Can I see your licence please?
    Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
    Officer: Don't have one?
    Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
    papers please.
    Man: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Man: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.
    The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away
    to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
    police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
    approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
    Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle
    please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
    Man: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer2: One of my officers told me that you more...

    GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
    Continuity
    Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
    Revealing mistakes
    A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
    Anachronisms
    Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
    Continuity
    In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
    The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

    A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London.
    She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked,
    "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
    The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed,
    "Give the Ballerina a drink!"
    The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down in one. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked,
    "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
    Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and boomed,
    "Give the Ballerina another drink!"
    The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling more...

    A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
    The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
    But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
    The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
    Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
    The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
    The drunk replied, more...

    Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.
    She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom."
    Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."
    The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says "I've got something special for you Santa. Can't you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable."
    Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."
    Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says "Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift."
    Santa responds "Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. more...

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