"Bad day..." joke
A guy was listening to his kid say his nightly prayers.
The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird.
That night, the kid says "Good-
night mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
The father thinks this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodnight mommy, and goodbye daddy."
The father freaks. He's thinking I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work.
At the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day." She says "YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!"
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by more...