"Arizona in the Summertime" joke

You know you are in Arizona in the summertime when: The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as redbull.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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