"An alien walks into a bar..." joke

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a muscular guy. Then the alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop!

The guy looks at him and says," If you do that again I will cut your head off with this here knife!"

The alien just did it again and said bloop, bloop, bloop! In anger the guy cuts off the guys head. Immediately another one grows back. Then the alien pushes his finger into the gys shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop!

The guy says if you do that again I will cut off your dick! The alien did it again so in his anger the guy pulls down the aliens pants and is shocked to see that there is no dick! In his astonishment he asks," If you don't have a dick then how do you have sex?"

The alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says," bloop, bloop, bloop!"

Maori falla " Me miss!?"
English Teacher, "You! yes you?" "How many seconds are there in one minute?" Whole class puts their hands up. Miss! Miss! I know!
Maori falla " rrrrrrrr ummmmmmm rrr "60 Miss! 60 seconds in one minute more...

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China, New Zealand, New England, and Samoa were all building a big Tower for their leaders. So after they were done building the tower each leader wanted to make a toast. China went first. He steps up and says, "I want to make a toast to the Great Wall of China!" All more...

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There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so they stopped the ambulance and more...

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The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. So she asks him to please step up to the front of the class and recite his more...

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An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.

His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...

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Funny Joke? 16 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).