"All you need to know about Vampires!" joke

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula
Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank
Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark. I'm afraid of the light!
Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula's terror-tory
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.
Q: What's the part of a restaurant where vampires don't suck blood?
A: The non-Suckers section.
Q: Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula?
A: He's a pain in the neck.
Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
A: "Hello, pleased to eat you!"
Q: What is Dracula's position in baseball?
A: Batboy
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: Why did Dracula go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank.
Q: What's a vampire's favorite feast?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner.
Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
A: Because he likes to draw blood!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a computer?
A: A know-it-all, that's really a pain in the neck.
Q: Who is a vampire likey to fall in love with?
A: The girl necks door.
Q: What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It's a pain in the neck.
Q: Was Dracula ever married?
A: No he's a bat-chelor.
Q: What is worst than a hungry vampire?
A: A thirsty vampire.
Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?
A: Coffin Drops!
Q: What is the favorite test that vampires love to take?
A: A blood test.
Q: What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test?
A: Can't you count Dracula!
Q: What is a vampire's favorite game?
A: Bat-miton.
Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: He had bat breath.
Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound!
Q: What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A: A coffin break!
How does a vampire like his food served?
A: In bite sized pieces!
Q: Why did the vampire take up acting?
A: It was in his blood!
Q: Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
A: The ghoulscorer!
Q: What's a vampire's favourite drink?
A: A bloody mary!
Q: Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
A: He wanted something to get his teeth into!
Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone?
A: A fangster!
Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
A: He had fang decay!
Q: If you want to know more about Dracula what do you have to do?
A: Join his fang club!
Q: Why are vampire families so close?
A: Because blood is thicker than water!
Q: What flavour ice cream is Dracula's favourite?
A: Veinilla!
Q: How do you join the Dracula fan club?
A: Send your name, address and blood group!
Q: Why was the young vampire a failure? A: He fainted at the sight of blood!
Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A: A bite in shining armour!
Q: What does a vampire bath in?
A: A bat tub!
Q: What did the vampire say after he had been to the dentist?
A: Fangs very much!
Q: What's Dracula's favourite coffee?
A: Decoffinated!
Q: What is a vampire's favourite film character?
A: Batman!
Q: If a snowman marries a vampire, what will they name their first child?
A: Frostbite
Q: Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
A: He has a bat temper.
Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They all come out at night.