"Aliens at gas station" joke
Graa and Zmba had just arrived in the Nevada desert from the planet Fraana when they happened upon a service station. Graa said to Zmba, "Watch out, this sucker is going to be one tough cookie!"
He walked up to pump number one and said, "Take me to your leader."
The pump just stood their and Graa got a little angry and repeated his command with emphasis, "Take me to your leader!" But the pump just stood motionless. Graa pulled out his ray gun and said, "This is your last chance. Take me to your leader." When the pump made no response, he fired a shot at it and the explosion hurled Graa and Zmba all the way back to their spacecraft.
"How did you know he would be so tough?" Zmba asked.
"Anyone with a dick so long they can stick it in their ear has got to be one tough cookie."
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...