"Abortion" joke

My girlfriend had an abortion yesterday.
It went ok but it took a lot out of her.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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G F:Kevin courtney was the only one who avoided his mom's hanger
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Funny Joke? 90 vote(s). 40% are positive. 2 comment(s).