"A bunch of nones are" joke

A bunch of nones are teamed together to paint the interior of their new church..while painting, the lead nun sister margaret announces that she wants everyone to be especially careful not to get paint on their new nun robes...so when sister margaret leaves...sister Erin turns to the rest of the nuns and suggests that since they are all girls, they paint nude..so as to not get any paint on their new nun attire.. the nuns agree and so they continue painting in the nude... after an hour they hear the door bell ring..
"who is it?" sister Erin asks...
"A blind man!" the man responds..
with a bit of relief, sister Erin lets the man in..
the man stops stunned at the door way...
"where do you want these drapes?" he asks..
"and do you always paint in the nude?"

A bear, a lion and a chicken sitting talking about who is the hardest. The bear says when I roar - the whole forest trembles, the lion says when I roar - the whole jungle shakes with fear, the chicken says all I have to do is cough and the whole fuckin world shits itself!!

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A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red ''H'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he''s so proud of it he never takes more...

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Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

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A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road, and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the more...

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The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand." "And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from more...

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