"A bunch of One Liners" joke

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”

Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”

With a questioned look on more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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: Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Keep honking while I reload.

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and more...

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