"A boy had reached four without giving up the habit..." joke

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh. .. I know what you've been doing."

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ivor!
Ivor who?
Ivor sore hand from knocking on your door! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Ivor!
Ivor who?
Ivor good mind not to tell you now!

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of money on bar. He asks the bartender what it is for, the bartender tells him about the pub challenge. The man asks what he has to do and the bartender says "
Well, firstly you have to cut your thumb with a rusty knife, then you more...

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Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were walking down the street one day."I wonder if I'm still the most beautiful woman in all the land" said Snow White.
"I wonder if I'm still the shortest man in all the land" said Tom Thumb.
"I wonder if I'm more...

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One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid more...

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