"A Pms Guide" joke

Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS: “What’s for dinner? ”
SAFER: “Can I help you with dinner? ”
SAFEST: “Where would you like to go for dinner? ”

DANGEROUS: “Are you wearing THAT? ”
SAFER: “Gee, you look good in brown. ”
SAFEST: “Wow! Look at you! ”

DANGEROUS: “What are you so worked up about? ”
SAFER: “Could we be overreacting? ”
SAFEST: “Here’s fifty dollars. ”

DANGEROUS: “Should you be eating that? ”
SAFER: “You know, there are a lot of apples left. ”
SAFEST: “Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ”

DANGEROUS: “What did you DO all day? ”
SAFER: “I hope you didn’t overdo today. ”
SAFEST: “I’ve always loved you in that robe. ”