"A Local Ophthalmologist" joke

Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he had recently performed a successful sight-saving operation on the wife of the country's most celebrated pop artist, who, in addition to paying the doctor's usual fee, had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor's waiting room. The mural turned out be an immense multicolored picture of a human eye, in the center of which stood a perfect miniature likeness of the good doctor himself. While cameras clicked and most of the newsmen crowded around the famous artist for his comments, one cub reporter drew the eye specialist aside and asked: "Tell me, if you can, Doctor-what was your first reaction on seeing this fantastic artistic achievement covering an entire wall of your office?"

"To tell the truth," replied the physician, "my first thought was, thank goodness I'm not a gynecologist!"

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Had to defrost the fridge last night before bed.

Or 'foreplay', as she calls it.

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Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...

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