"90 Year Old Man - 18 Year Old Wife" joke
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I
have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do
you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I
have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally
picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the
stream. He raised his umbrella and went,' bang, bang' and the
rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza more...
An angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...