Youll Jokes

Heres a little clarification of corporate lingo.

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you+-

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We dont pay enough to expect that youll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:

Youll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:

We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED:

Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON:

If youre old, fat or ugly youll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:

Weve more...

a woman is in the ghetto one day and she is pregnant with triplets and she goes into the store and gets shot three times one in each womb.when she goes to the doctor she says they will be alright but will be some side affects.one of the girls come in and says mom i just peed a bullet she said youll be alright i just got shot thirteen years ago another girl comes in and says ijust peed a bullet to youll be alright so the boy comes in ballin his eyes out his mom asked did you pee a bullet? no i was jakin off and i shot the dog.

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. Youll never be trapped by the desire to steal again.""Gee, thats great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. Youll see - youll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever.""Oh, Doctor, whatever can I do to thank you?""Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave."