Writing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Johnny and Kip were playing hockey at Forest Park skating rink. Suddenly a vicious pit bull came up and attacked Kip. Instead of panicking, Johnny sneaked up behind the dog, stuck his hockey stick in the dog's collar, and broke the dog's neck.
A reporter from St. Louis heard about what had happened with the boy and he went to the Johnny's house to him. He asked Johnny how all of this happened, and Johnny told him. Then he asked Johnny if he could write about him, and Johnny said sure. So the reporter pulled out his notepad and started writing, "Blues fan from St. Louis saves friend from vicious dog."
Johnny said, "I'm not a Blues fan."
So the reporter started writing again. "Cardinals fan from St. Louis saves friend from dog."
Johnny said, "I'm not a Cardinals fan either."
The reporter finally asked, "What the hell are you a fan of?"
Johnny said, "I'm a Detroit Redwings fan."
The reporter more...
Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs. They're called "The Johnson Years".
Santa happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story.
The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
When Santa's turn came after many attempts by others. Santa's story was of just one sentence which read "Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the american whether it contained all the four ingredients! American replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
Oh god: religion.
My wife: sex.
Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
"Okay... but where is the mystery?" asked one of the organizers.
Santa replied: who is the father? He was the winner for writing the shortest story!
I got this joke from a roommate of mine, Keith Brown.
He acquired it when he went back to his hometown to
substitute teach at his high school. Sitting in the
teacher's lounge, they were telling jokes and the
principal told this one...
One day, an elderly woman went in to the main Citibank office
in downtown New York City and asked the window teller if she
could speak to the president of the bank. Upon being questioned
as to why she needed to see him, the elderly woman said that
she wished to deposit seven million dollars.
The teller then rushed back to the president and said that
there was a woman who wished to deposit seven million dollars
and that she wished to see the president. Naturally, the
president excitedly said, "Well, send her right in!"
After the elderly woman and the president had talked for some
time about security and insurance and whatnot, she started to
fill out some papers. By this time the more...
...paris hilton has been banned from the moscow hyatt hotel after allegedly writing her name in permanent marker on her suite's expensive wallpaper...a spokesman for the hotel said that they were willing to overlook her writing her name if only she hadnt misspelled it four times.
A Vatican researcher says that faint writing on the Shroudof Turin proves it was the burial cloth of Jesus. Further translation reveals that the writing also says,“Thou shalt dry clean only”.