Wreck Jokes

ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical more...

A successful, wealthy, bigshot city lawyer and a redneck got into a car wreck on a hot summer day. The lawyer got out of his BMW and the redneck got out of his pickup to survey the damage, and the redneck realized he was at fault...
"YOU STUPID HICK!" shouted the lawyer, looking with contemt at the redneck in his dirty overalls.
After looking over the handsome, impeccably dressed and dignified city lawyer in his $2, 000 navy blue pinstriped suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks and black dress shoes polished like mirrors, $1, 000 briefcase and hundred dollar haircut, the redneck walked back to his car, got out a bottle, and brought it back.
He handed it to the lawyer, and said, "Here, you look pretty shook up. I think you ought to take a nip of this. It'll steady your nerves.... IT'S HOMEMADE..."
The lawyer did, but was so angry about the wreck, he refused to speak. The redneck then said, "You still more...

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down."Well, did you see this?""Yes," motioned the monkey."What happened?"The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth."They were drinking?" asked the officer."Yes.""What else?"The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth."They were smoking marijuana?""Yes.""What else?"The monkey motioned "Screwing.""They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer."Yes." "Now more...

There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The Air Force guy just shakes his head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, "Hey guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! more...

There's a Buckeye fan from Ohio driving from Columbus to Ann Arbor, and a Wolverine fan driving from Ann Arbor driving to Columbus. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head-on and both cars go flying off in different directions.
The Wolverine guy manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"
Likewise the Buckeye guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The Wolverine guy walks over to the Buckeye guy and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals."
The Buckeye guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else surrvived this wreck." So the Buckeye guy pops open more...