Wind Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler. .."Seamus. .. Seamus. .. the wind is cutt'n me chest out!" "Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back. .. that'll block the wind for you." So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again. After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their route. When after a short time he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground. "T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?" Seamus hailed to the farmers. "Well," said one of the farmers, " he was alright when we found him here. . but since we more...

High Above Fifth Ave. and 34th Street
Two men were drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One
turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you
jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor,
the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the
building and back into the window."
The bartender overhears this and just shakes his head in disapproval while
wiping down the bar.
The second man says, "What, are you a nut? There is no way in hell that
could happen!"
The first man says, "No, it's true. Let me prove it to you." He gets up from
the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens toward the street below.
When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building
and back into the 10th floor window where he takes the elevator back up to
the bar.
The second man says, "You know, I saw more...

We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of more...

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holdingher hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do notintend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowingup in this high wind?""Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the ground. While floating over a country road, they see a man walking below. One of the balloonists calls down to him:"We're lost! Can you tell us where we are?"The man thinks for a while, looks down, looks up, looks down again, stares into space for a minute, and then cries out:"You're in a balloon!"The wind picks up, and the balloon floats off. After a moment, one balloonist says to the other:"That man must be a manager.""Why?""Three reasons. First, he took a long time to answer. Second, he was perfectly correct. Third, his answer was perfectly useless!"

Fancy company has a party and rents the restaurant at the top of the World Trade Center. Late in the evening, somebody notices a wallflower standing by himself by an open window. He walks over. Guy: "Hi! Keeping to yourself?" Wallflower: "Oh, hi. No, I'm just examining the wind patterns here. I think I have them figured out. If I took a running jump out there, I believe that the updraft would lift me back up and eventually deliver me back here." Guy: "Eh, can I get you a drink? Would you like to come back to the bar?" Wallflower: "No. I've made the calculations, so I have to try it!" Before the guy can stop him, the wallflower takes a running leap out of the 112th floor window. Guy gapes out, and sees wallflower hovering in the updraft, then slowly rising back up to be deposited in the window again. Wallflower: "I'll take that drink now, if you don't mind." Guy: "That was freakin' amazing! Think I could do it?" Wallflower: more...

No matter how much you do, you`ll never do enough.
No matter what happens, there is always somebody who knew that it would.
No matter which direction you start, it`s always against the wind coming back.
No matter which way you go, it`s always uphill and against the wind.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

No problem is so formidable that you can`t just walk away from it.

No real problem has a solution.

No two identical parts are exactly alike.

Nobody notices the big errors.

Nobody notices when things go right.