Wider Jokes

During an interplanetary social-exchange visit, a Meklar couple suggested to the guest earthling couple that they swap wives for the night. When one pair were alone and the Meklar male had stripped, the earth woman noticed that his penis was very tiny. But he proceeded to twirl a finger in one ear, which caused his organ to lengthen considerably, and then he stuck his finger in his other ear and his cock got wider and wider.
The next night, the earth woman asked her husband how his session went. "Not so well," he replied, "Not only did that Meklar woman have the biggest pussy I've ever seen; she kept distracting me by tickling my ears like crazy

"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God! " he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc! " replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't! " said the dentist. "That was the echo."

One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?"
My sister in law stammered a bit, but finally got her composure. She thought it was time her daughter knew the facts of life. So, she told Little Rita how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As my sister in law gave the whole story, Rita's eyes got wider and wider.
When She was finished, Little Rita said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Rusty told me. He said that he came from Pennsylvania."

A married couple finally saved up enough money to go on their fantasy vacation to mars.While strolling along the red dirt and craters the couple meets up with a martian couple.
The two couples get to talking and up comes the subject of sex.In curiosity the two couples decided to switch partners for the night.
The wife and the martian man were about to have their fun, but when The martian man pulled off his pants and it was the size of a pencil.The wife asked "Can you make it longer?"The martian replied "yes." and slapped his forhead, it grew longer. Then the wife asked "can you make it wider?" The martian replied again "yes." he pulled his ears and it grew wider.
So the martian man and the wife went to town and had their fun. The next day the couples met up again and the wife asks her husband "So how was you night honey? Mine was great!"
"Mine was horrible!" the husband said.
"why?" his wife more...

>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> In the Garden of Eden,
>>>>>>>>>>> As everyone knows,
>>>>>>>>>>> Lives Adam and Eve,
>>>>>>>>>>> Without any clothes.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> In this garden,
>>>>>>>>>>> Were two little leaves,
>>>>>>>>>>> One covered Adam's,
>>>>>>>>>>> One covered Eve's.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> As the story goes on,
>>>>>>>>>>> Never the less to say,
>>>>>>>>>>> The wind came along,
>>>>>>>>>>> And blew the leaves away.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> At the sight,
>>>>>>>>>>> Adam did stare,
>>>>>>>>>>> There was Eve's treasure,
>>>>>>>>>>> All covered with hair.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> And wonder came,
>>>>>>>>>>> Under Eve's eyes,
>>>>>>>>>>> As Adam's thing,
>>>>>>>>>>> Started to rise.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> They found a spot,
>>>>>>>>>>> That suited them best,
>>>>>>>>>>> A nice big tree,
>>>>>>>>>>> Where they began to more...