Whoever Jokes / Recent Jokes

Want to join a militia? Idaho's your state. Here are some terms to learn:

Commander: Whoever starts the unit.

Second in Command: His best friend.

Auxiliary Commander: His wife.

Captain: New guy.

Militia Headquarters: The basement of whoever has the fax machine.

Squad: Guys in the ambulance who come out when a militia member accidentally shoots himself during training.

The following is a list of the Cartoon Laws Of Physics:
Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure more...

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.