Whip Jokes / Recent Jokes
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you better be good or you're history. Here is your equipment - a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first. She walk past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begin to charge at her, so she throw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and start licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turn to the young man and asks, "Can more...
A Pakistani was sitting with an Indian and Malaysianin Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden Saudi police entered and arrested them.
But, as it was a nationalholiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "I allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and then
said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
The India n guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back".
But even two pillows could only take 10 lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to Pakistani and said: "You are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes!"
"Thank you, Most Royal and Merciful more...
A circus owner was looking to hire a lion tamer and two young people showed up for the tryout. One was a handsome young man, the other a young, gorgeous blonde woman.
"I'm not going to sugar coat this for you," the circus owner told them, "This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so both of you better be good, or you're history. Here's your equpment - a chair, whip and gun. Now, which one of you would like to go first?"
The young blonde woman decided she would go first. She walked right past the chair, whip and gun, and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion immediately began to snarl, pant and charge her. About halfway there, she threw open her coat to reveal her beautiful naked body.
Stopping dead in his tracks, the lion sheepishly crawled up to her and proceeded to lick her ankles. He then licked her calves, kissed them, and came to rest with his head at her feet.
Seeing this, the circus owner's mouth dropped to the floor. more...
A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van... (you know, shag pile carpets, big double mattress in the back... all that), when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh big
boy, whip me, whip me!" The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opens the window, snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?" The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring...
Wait for it...
"You've got the worst case of van aerial disease more...
An Eagles fan, a Dallas Cowboy's fan and a NY Giant fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to DEATH!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought more...