Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes
...according to medical journals, penis size is in direct proportion to foot size...if this is true, shouldn't women not have feet?
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the storelaughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there'sno law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, andonce again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest ofthe pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway? So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow himto see where he goes."Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, startscracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow theguy.About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store."Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.The clerk replies "Your house."
My teenage daughter wanted a nose ring. I told her to go ahead and download it. Now, when she gets a call she sneezes.
An 8 year old Cub Scout was hassled by airport securitybecause he happens to have the same name as a known terrorist. The tottold the press, “Yeah, and I think my stupid sister told them that Imake underwear bombs too, like after we eat at Grandma’s.”
Flights were delayed briefly while the child looked in vain for a joystick.
When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible.
When someone says this is as bad as it can get, don`t bet on it.
When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
When you don`t have an education, you`ve got to use your brains.
When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other coins will roll out of sight.
When the going gets tough, the smart get sneaky.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.
When they want it bad (in a rush), they get it bad.
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.
SAO PAULO, Brazil -- Hopes dimmed Wednesday for a priest who vanished after sailing into the air, carried off by hundreds of colorful helium-filled party balloons.
Some people will do anything to escape sex offender charges.