Wayne Jokes / Recent Jokes

Wayne went to the pet store to buy a parrot. One bird caught his eye: previously owned, it was especially handsome and he purchased it. As soon as the bird was settled on its perch, Wayne went to the cupboard.
"You want a cracker?" he asked, holding out a Saltine.
The bird looked at the snack. "What are you, stupid? And blind? You think I keep my feathers rich by eating crackers, you moron? I want pate' and I want it now, asshole!"
Shocked by this unprovoked abuse, Wayne returned to the pet store and walked up to the proprietor.
"Just who owned that bird before me anyway?!"... he demanded.
"Didn't I tell you?" the proprietor said. "You are the owner of a bird that once belonged to John McEnroe."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

A show business museum in Hollywood is presenting an exhibit on the career of the late and great actor John Wayne. One of the featured items is a pair of brownish colored gravestones bearing his name, date of birth, and the titles of his most memorable movies. The museum has decided to call the exhibit,. ..' The Amber Graves of Wayne.' (By Steve Page)

Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne!
Wayne who?
Wayne are you coming over to my house!

Lil Wayne was finally ordered to serve a year in jail after sentencing had been postponed two weeks due to dental work. His lawyer will seek protective custody for Lil Wayne or if that is denied a week's delay for additional dental procedures: sharpened dentures fitted for his anus.

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky? Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.