Washing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Day 1.
    Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
    Day 2.
    Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
    Day 3.
    This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.
    Day 4.
    A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his problem. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
    Day 5.
    What absolute bliss!!.
    Day 6.
    Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
    Day more...

    A couple, concerned with speaking of sex in front of their children, decided to rename "sex" with the words "washing machine."
    Each time one of the two decided to entice the other, they would say, "How about some washing machine, dear?"
    Well, one night, the husband was feeling quite amorous and asked his wife for a little washing machine, but the wife refused on the grounds of having a headache.
    After a while, the wife reconsidered the husband's request thinking of allowing herself to have a headache interrupt their sexual activities. So, the wife awoke her husband and offered to participate in a little washing machine action.
    The husband rolled over, facing his wife, and declared, "No, that's ok, dear. It was a small load anyway, so I did it out by hand."

    Ik wari america which ik market survey company ne india which washing machine di sale ute survey kita. Ohna de survey de results te sub nu bari harani hoyi. Survey which uhna ne dasya ki washing
    machine di sub to jayada sale punjab which hoyi he ate ehna nu kharidan wale GT Roda te dhabian (road side hotels) de malik ne.
    Is sale the reason ohna ne dasya ke dhabe wale kehnde ne ki washing which bulk which lassi bahut wadiya bandi ate uhde naal pipe ( drainage hose ) wi lagya hoya jis de naal lassi aram de naal glass which we payi jaa sakdi he.

    Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
    A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
    Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
    A. A navel.
    Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
    A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
    Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
    A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
    Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
    A. A Klondike Bar
    Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
    Q. Why don't women wear watches?
    A. There's a clock on the stove!
    Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
    A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
    Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
    A. They hang around after the man more...

    A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
    "Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
    "Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking,' Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
    So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"
    "No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
    When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
    "No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

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