Victims Jokes / Recent Jokes
There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows.
1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.)
2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag
3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives.
4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.
5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs.
6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it.
7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can more...
There was a recent study done on the last words of fatal car accident victims in the United States. 49% of the last words of victims from the U.S. were 'Oh Shit!!!' Only in the South, however, were these words spoken before they died...'Hey yall, hold my beer can and watch this!'
Timothy McVeigh, executed in 2001 for the Oklahoma City terrorist bombing that killed 168 people, told victims' families to "get over it " in a set of interview tapes aired for the first time Monday night on MSNBC. Ironically, "get over it," is exactly what Satan told McVeigh when he complained about conditions in Hell.
MANILA (Reuters) - A Filipino man was killed and his friend seriously wounded after they sarcastically applauded a student for singing Frank Sinatra's classic "My Way" off-key, according to a newspaper report.
The 21-year-old student felt insulted when the victims clapped after he sang the song at a karaoke parlor in downtown Manila, the reports said Monday.
After getting into a fight with the student's friends, the victims left the parlor to avoid trouble but were ambushed outside and shot by the student who was later arrested. Newspapers have said Philippine karaoke parlors have been removing "My Way" from play lists because fights frequently broke out - for unfathomable reasons - when the song was sung.
The song seems to drive many drunken men to commit anything from slight physical injuries to homicide, reports said.
In a remarkably similar incident last November, one man was killed and another wounded when a brawl broke out in a karaoke bar in more...
Gender
Radical feminism
Oppressors
White male heterosexuals
Bias
Basing scholarship on reason and evidence
Patriarchal models
Objectivity, logic, rational discourse, mathematics, science, the Bible, the U. S. Constitution, family values, motherhood and apple pie
Politically aware
Politically far-left
Being divisive
Deviating from the beliefs of the politically aware (see politically aware); synonymous with being hostile
Liberal arts education
Political indoctrination
Guilt
Feeling bad about your genes, but not about your actions
Women and men
The forces of good and evil in the dualism of gender (see gender)
Diversity
The gathering together of as large a group as possible of discontents, deviants and social misfits while excluding, suppressing and bashing conservatives, Republicans, evangelicals, adherents of historical religions, serious more...
GARAGE SALE: Place an add in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisons, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6 a. m. Come early!
X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS: Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victims carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped-inspected by airport security officials. This one will make your sides hurt from laughter, if present during the inspection. Good for both male and female victims.
LOST KEYS: Get a hold of some old useless keys (car, house, etc) Place victim's name, phone number and $50 reward...... if found and returned. Drop the keys in one of the least desirable areas of town.
PAPER MONEY: Write a sexually orientated solicitation message, more...