Vicar Jokes / Recent Jokes
The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walkinground his new parish, after leaving his wife in bedwith the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack ofcigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said." Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, thewife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck' em!"
The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walkinground his new parish, after leaving his wife in bedwith the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack ofcigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said."Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, thewife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck' em!"
TWO men in their 80s who had played golf every day of their long lives wondered if there was a golf course in paradise. After attending the morning service in church they approached the Vicar and sought his opinion.' I'll ask Saint Peter and let you know next Sunday,' replied the holy man.
The following Sunday the two men accosted the Vicar. T have good news and bad news for you,' said the holy man.
'The good news is that there is an excellent golf course in heaven.'
'And what is the bad news?'asked the two.
'The bad news is that you have to tee off the course next Saturday.'
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to' love, honor and obey' and' forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" Th e groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The groom leaned more...
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: " We want to get married. Here are all
our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?" The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: " Isn't there a proverb?.. something about not marrying in haste? Why are you two in such a hurry? Dragging his bride after him, Giorgio rushes out into the street: " We double parked!"
In a small town, an frightened man ran inside the local pub and shouted, "Does anyone here own a big black dog with a white collar?"
But no one answered and he said, "Oh my God, I must have run over the Vicar!"
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to' love, honor and obey' and' forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."
He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied.
The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, more...