Vegetables Jokes / Recent Jokes
Barbeque is the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers
to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.
The woman goes to the store.
The woman "fixes" the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging
beside the grill.
The man places the meat on the grill.
The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Don't think that you're thinking. If you think that you're thinking you only think that you're thinking.
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
Barbeque--it's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man
volunteers to do the' BBQ' the following chain of events are usually put
into motion.
1) The woman goes to the store.
2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging
beside the grill, drink in hand.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to set the table and checks the vegetables.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed' her more...
The other day, it was my turn to prepare dinner, so I asked my wife to go over to the local market and buy some organic vegetables.
She came back rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked
around for your organic vegetables and I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were."
"He didn't know what I was talking about, so I said,' These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'"
"And he said,' No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself.'"
A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Gotany fresh fruit?""No.""Got any fresh vegetables?""No. We have only canned and dry goods."The next day, the duck returns."Got any fresh fruit?""No.""Got any fresh vegetables?""No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor."On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any nails?""No.""Got any fresh fruit?"
In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." So God created Man in His own image; male and female created He them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman more...