Untill Jokes

The couple has a small boy about three years old. One day they wanted to have sex. They couldnt let the boy see them. So the father told her son "Son I and mom had to do some theing important. Untill then why dont you go the the balcony and wait untill we call you by the time you can shout about the things you see from the balcony"
So the kid is satnding in the balcony and shouting about the things he see he says "there goes the milk man" "there goes the paper man" the father is shouting back from in side the house
"good son keep on going" Then the kid suddenly said "the neighbours Mr & Mrs Smith are having Sex"
The father got a shock hearing this he got dressed and came to the balcony and asked from the kid "Can you see Mr & Mrs Smith from here having sex?"
The Kid replied "No I cant see them, But there son is also in the balcony Counting vehicles"

husbund: Judge, jury people in the courtroom before i got married my wife was loving caring and hung onto my every word. But once we got married my wife became a raging alcholic she drove off all my friends constantly made fun of wait problem and became violent no matter where we were i went all over the house to try and get away from her aggresivness untill she drove me into the cellar, my last place to hide. But one night she came down drunk like never before and i snaped i hit her again again and again untill she was dead.
Wife: what are u doing down there in the cellar
Man: just practising dear just practising

A mom, Bri, and a son, Jorge, were eating dinner at the dinner table. Jorge pushes his plate away and says, "I'm done."
Bri glances at Jorge's plate and notices he still has a pile of peas on it, "No you don't. Not untill you eat all of your food."
"I don't like peas."
"They are not peas they are green M&M's but the trick is you can't taste the candy untill you swallow them."
Jorge gets excited and sticks a spoon full of peas in his mouth. Then he grabs his glass of milk and takes a drink.
Jorge says, "your right mom they do taste like M&M's. Why don't you try?"
"Who do you think you're kidding?," replies Bri and gives Jorge a sly look.
"Who do YOU think you're kidding?," Jorge says grabbing his glass of milk and pouring the peas out of it onto his plate.