Umbrellas Jokes

A man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him, got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella thief."

The embarrassed guy returned the umbrella and apologized, before getting abused and beaten up by other woman loving passengers.

In the evening he picked up all his umbrellas repaired, put them under his arms and started walking towards home. Unfortunately the morning lady returning from work bumped into him.

The lady commented, "Seems, you had a profitable day at work today."

Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they dont become polly-saturated!

Three turtles stop in at a bar on a hot day for a beer. While they're waiting they notice that it has started to rain.
"Freddy," says the biggest turtle to the smallest, "go home and fetch our umbrellas."
"No," replies Freddy, "because if I leave you'll drink my beer."
Both of the other turtles promise they would never do such a thing, so Freddy grudgingly gets down from the stool and heads for the exit. Two weeks go by, as the turtles stare thirstily at Freddy's untouched beer in front of them.
Finally one turtle says to the other, "Oh, let's go ahead and drink Freddy's beer. We can tell him it was never delivered."
A voice from up near the front of the bar says, "If you do, I'm not going home for the umbrellas!"

Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!

Q: Why do the swedes cut holes in their umbrellas? A: Because they want to see when the rain ends.