Troop Jokes

"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." -US Marine Corps
"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND."
-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop.
"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." -Infantry Journal
"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT." -Army's magazine of preventative maintenance
"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED." -US. Air Force manual
"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO."
-Infantry Journal
"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." -U.S. Army Ordnance
"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS! "-Infantry Journal
"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE more...

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing."Well, err... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!""WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

As a wildfire raged in Utah, a troop of Boy Scouts had to be airlifted to safety.

Also saved - this troop of Boy Scouts's anal virginity.

You get merit badge for picking the trifecta at Aqueduct
You help old ladies across I-95
First rule in handbook: "Blame the kid who can't speak English"
You're part of a very special troop called the Gambino family
To become an Eagle Scout, you have to catch and eat a Bald Eagle
Since he can't get time off, troop leader holds meetings in his Century 21 office
You get busted for selling knot-tying secrets to Russian Boy Scouts
Scout master hands out his favorite campfire treat - Marlboro Lights
Troop motto: "Be prepared...to lie on the witness stand"
Every year you have to put on a skit and go door-to-door selling cookies
©MMI, CBS Worldwide Inc.

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.
"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing.
"Well, err... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!"
"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"