Tickle Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8: 00 AM.
The next day at 8: 45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, more...

Tickle Me Elmo A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls.
It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two ---- "Test" ---- Tickles.

Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days. 2 Wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15 Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with it's own 1988 Mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800 Tickle Me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled. $700 Valentines Day Sale: Ty-D-Bol Blue Toss-Ins Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15 Do something special for your Valentine - Have your septic tank pumped. Full sized mattress. 20 Yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.

A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls. It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two ---- "Test" ---- Tickles.

Top 12 things that Santa Claus will be disappointing children by leaving under the Christmas tree instead of a "Tickle Me Elmo" in 1996: Tickle My Elbow "Pull My Finger" Cabbage Patch Kid Tickle Me Enos New Kids on the Block singing action figures Championship croquet set, with lawn darts and horseshoes "Slick Willy" political scandal trading card set Talking Barney the Dinosaur doll (I love you, you love me, somebody rip out my battery!) "The Last Action Hero" GAF Viewmaster discs Goose Me Susie A real live pony. (If it's not there when you wake up, that's because your mother chased it off and killed it!) [Thank you Al Bundy] An 8-bit Nintendo system -or- an 8-track tape deck Socks, clothes, and other useless stuff [For international readers: Tickle Me Elmo is a cute stuffed toy that wiggles around when you tickle it, or so I've heard. Children want them for Christmas, but they are in very short supply at the North Pole. The stores are all sold more...

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick areperched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Severalplain Janes walk by as the two converse.Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm andsaunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and - barely audibly- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"The young beauty - startled by what she thinks she heard- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goeson her way.More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated."Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?" "Typical nasty weather?"Finally, Romeo delivers his line,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops, smiles and invites him up to her room.Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention, decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likelyprospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts more...

A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo dolls." It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.

On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her.

Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.

The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two ---- Test ---- Tickles."