Through Jokes / Recent Jokes
A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his cage and ran through the zoo he came upon a lion sleeping in the grass. He really wasn't thrilled with his find but since he had promised himself he would take the first thing he could get, he grabbed the lion and screwed it.
Just as the gorilla finished, the lion awoke and was really pissed. The lion started chasing the gorilla through the zoo and was beginning to gain on him. The gorilla turned a corner and saw a park bench with a newspaper on it. Thinking quickly, the gorilla sat down on the bench and held the newspaper in front of him like he was reading it. When the lion turned the corner he stopped at the park bench. Not knowing what was behind the newspaper he asked the reader if he had seen a more...
Santa: Every One Tells Sardarjis Are The Greatest Fools. Banta: Now I Will Fool Other People. So Banta Took A Paper And Folded It And Saw Through It And Started Shouting Banta: Oh'my God Look I Can Watch Other Planets Through This Telescope. A Big Crowd Gathered Around Banta. Banta: Look Santa I Made So Many People Fooled. When Banta&Santa Turned They Found That The Crowd Was Full Of Sardarjis.
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution, 10 Miles.
He thinks it's a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution, Next Right.
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: Sisters of St. Francis.
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?".
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me."
He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup, instructs, more...
Revision codes
Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there’s substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.
1. 0: Also known as “one point uh-oh”, or”barely out of beta”. We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We’re praying that you’ll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.
1. 1: We fixed all the killer bugs …
1. 2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.
2. 0: We did the product we really more...
THE LAST WORD
The Ultimate Scientific Dictionary
Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.
Atomic Theory: A mythological explanation of the nature of matter, first proposed by the ancient Greeks, and now thoroughly discredited by modern computer simulation. Attempts to verify the theory by modern computer simulation have failed. Instead, it has been demonstrated repeatedly that computer outputs depend upon the color of the programmer's eyes, or occasionally upon the month of his or her birth. This apparent astrological connection, at last, vindicates the alchemist's view of astrology as the mother of all science.
Bacon, Roger: An English friar who dabbled in science and made experimentation fashionable. Bacon was the first science popularizer to make it big on the banquet and talk-show circuit, and his books even outsold the fad diets of the period.
Biological Science: A contradiction in more...
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake more...
An Irishman, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there... what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long more...