Thanksgiving Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bush "Look Turkey, I pardoned you. Now get out of here before Cheney shows up."
One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!" Without hesitation my freind knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, ''He gave you the bird!"
Still, there are some things a big company can do that a small band of
programmers could never hope to accomplish. This was best shown to me
this week by reader Brian P. McLean, who points out that according to his
Microsoft Outlook 97 scheduling/datebook application, Thanksgiving falls
this year on Wednesday, November 26.
Thanksgiving has always fallen on Thursday before. Wednesday may be an
improvement. I don't know.
- Robert X. Cringely, from his "I, Cringely" column (November 7, 1997)
10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than
a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.
9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and
stuffing with an ice cream scooper.
8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.
7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to
the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat
with toilet paper.
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car,
bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for
only four days.
5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is
from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the
dining hall...in below freezing weather.
4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching
here..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your
age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to
have brussels sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was more...
Reason #1 Men like Thanksgiving better than women:
They usually haveto wake up at 5 a.m so they can cook untill noon...
Meanwhile, all us men end up doing is watch football and out grow our waist band.