Testament Jokes

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament: "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

One day a good Jewish couple were lamenting over their teenage son wondering what would become of him in life.
Finally the father came up with an idea. On the credenza in the dining room, he would place a $20.00 bill, a copy of the Old Testament and a double shot of whiskey.
Then he and his wife would hide in the closet when their son came home and watch to see what item he would select. If he took the $20.00 he would be a frugal and successful businessman.
If he took the Old Testament he would be a respected Rabbi.
And if he selected the whiskey he'd end up a no-good stinking drunk bum - but at least they'd know.
When all the items were layed out on the credenza the couple hid in a nearby closet. Not long after the teenage son arrived home and walked into the dining room.
After looking over the items layed out before him he picked up the $20.00 and stuffed in his pocket. He then picked up the Old Testament and placed in under his arm. Finally he picked up the more...

Last Will and Testament:
Being of sound mind, I spent all my money!