Teresa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greets her at the Pearly Gates."Are you hungry, Mother Teresa?" says God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replies. So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet. The next day God again invites her to join Him for a meal. Again, it is tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still she says nothing. The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened. She can't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the more...

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied. So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet. The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing. The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread more...

Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied "Heck no sister, you nuns and aren't supposed to drink that stuff!"The nun said "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers "She has the constipation." The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"

When Mother Teresa died and went to heaven, God greeted her at the Pearly Gates.
"Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God.
"I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.
So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.
The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal.
Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.
The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer.
Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat more...

When Mother Teresa died she went straight to heaven. Upon her arival St. Peter informed her that they've been expecting her. She was the given her Angel wings for all the great work she did on earth and her angel Halo.Later on that day Mother Teresa was walking around heaven when she saw Princess Diana with an even bigger Halo! Teresa got pissed off, and went to see St. Peter, and asked "After all of my years sacrificing for the poor and the needy, I get a Halo this small. But Diana only took a couple of pictures with some landmine kids and got an even bigger Halo than me!"St. Peter replied, "That's not a Halo... That's the steering wheel..."