Halo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Signs you've been playing HALO (for XBOX) too long.
    -You call your friends by their character name instead of their real name.
    -You can't remember your friends' real names.
    -You believe that the Earth is one huge ring instead of a ball.
    -You cansantly attempt to pistol-whip people.
    -You begin to wonder where the needler and rocket launcher are on campus.
    -You refer to your car as a warthog.
    -You attempt to mount a gatling gun onto the back of your car.

    1. You don't suffer from insomnia... you enjoy every minute of it.
    2. Your pupils are dialated 24/7
    3.*You don't have time for a girlfriend and would rather have a talking frog instead.
    4. L337 is a common word in your household.
    5. The targeting reticle from halo is permanently burned onto your retina... and you love it.
    6. You know the correct pronunciation of MJOLNIR.
    7. You have a microwave in your room.
    8. Your dog can beat your friends at halo.
    9. Your pug, 30 pounds over weight can physically kick your butt.
    10. You've memorized the entire halo soundtrack.

    An Italian man immigrates to America. He starts sweeping floors in a pizzeria, and after 15 years works his way up to owning a small chain of pizzerias.

    He decides to have his own house designed and built for him. And it is going to have everything!

    One day he is talking to the contractor and said, "Makea you sure you puta plenty da halo statues inna da house. I wanna hava lotsa da halo statues. One inna every room, even da bathroom."The contractor, realizing his client must be a very religious person, carefully plans a niche in every room, and personally searches for the perfect statue for each niche.

    Finally, the house is finished. The Italian man walks through his new home for the first time. The contractor points out all the features, and finally the Italian man said, "But wherea are alluh my halo statues? I wanna lotsa halo statues!"

    And the contractor points to the niches and said, "I put a statue in every more...

    Mother Teresa is walking around Heaven one day as she notices Princess Diana passing by. "What a lovely woman," Mother Teresa thought, "doing all those wonderful things for the sick and starving of our world." As Princess Diana passes by, Mother Teresa notices that Diana's halo is much bigger than that of her own. "I had dedicated my entire life on earth to those sick and hungry, and her halo is bigger than mine?!" So, Mother Teresa decides to go find St. Peter and ask him about her problem.
    Upon hearing the problem, St. Peter smiles a little and reassures Mother Teresa that,"It's not a halo; that's the steering wheel."

    Mother Teresa went to Heaven and she was walking around - checking the place out. She walked up to St Peter and said' 'Where would I go to make a complaint?''

    St Peter told her to go see Gabriel. She goes to Gabriel and asks' 'Why does Princess Di have a bigger halo than me.

    Gabriel says,' 'SHHHHH... That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel.

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