Teeth Jokes / Recent Jokes
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair - try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a more...
Dear *insert your name here*, Thank you for leaving [ ] tooth/teeth under your pillow last night.While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:( ) the tooth could not be found( ) it was not a human tooth( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received( ) the tooth is still in your mouth( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our more...
It was the night before Christmas, when all through the trailer park
Not a pop-top was poppin', not even Ole Blue barked.
Our stockin's was hung over the space heater with care,
In hopes Santy would fill' em with Viennas and beer.
The kids was alseep in their NASCAR pj's,
Dreamin' of Goo Goo Clusters, Moon pies, and RC's.
And Earlene in her curlers and me in my John Deere cap
Had just settled into our La-Z-Boys for Wheel of Fourtune and a nap.
Then out in the vacent lot I heard such a commotion
I thought it was neighbor Clyde, finally got his T'bird in motion.
I heaved out of my recliner and to the window I flew,
Busted out the screen and hollered for Blue.
The moon was shinin' down on my old wrecked cars
So bright they was sparklin' like rusty old stars.
And I couldn't believe my own hardworking eyes
When a jacked up Ford pickup come flyin' through the sky!
Faster'n Ole Ironhead hs more...
Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?... Son: I dont know. The dentist kept it