Teenager Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top Ten Signs You're Becoming a Teenager
10) Like is, like, the most commonly used word in your vocabulary.
9) "Metal Mouth" and "Tinsel Teeth" have replaced your real name.
8) You fight with your hair every morning... and you lose!
7) Your parents have never heard of your favorite rock group.
6) Even your zits have zits!
5) It's not safe to say the word "mall" around you.
4) Let's just say... sometimes you don't smell too good.
3) You've gone from "A"... to "B"... to "C"... cup!
2) If you have to speak in front of your class, you care more about what you're wearing than what you're going to say.
1) If someone at your house is PMSing, it's not always your mom!
Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!
Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car and you get about the same results.
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
Avenge yourself: Live long enough to be a problem to your children.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere is to let the air out of the tires.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.
Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers and board newlyweds.
The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family more...
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a very shear blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to go out like that!
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....
The grandmother says. "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."
Happy Gardening.
The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents. It's how he found out.
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: - Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. - No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. - You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. - Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile. - No cat or teenager shares you taste in music. - Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. - Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry o n as if they did. - Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a more...
There were two teenagers and they just got thru playing basketball. So they went to the showerhouse.
They were in the showerhouse and the first teenager noticed a cork up the other teenagers butt. So when they got out of the showerhouse, the first teenager ask why he had a cork up his butt?
The other teenager said, "Well, I was at the beach and a fairy said she could grant me one wish", and in amazement I said - "No CRAP!"