Teenager Jokes / Recent Jokes

Wife:
In Des - A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take shower.
In Pardes - A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take a bath.
Son:
In Des - A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.
In Pardes - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.
Daughter:
In Des - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes when she is getting married.
In Pardes - A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before any marriage.
Mother:
In Des - A woman who defends you and cares for you, but would not dare to go against your father's wishes for you.
In Pardes - A women who is a sucker for anything you want, especially if dad's against it.
Father:
In Des - A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.
In Pardes - A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college more...

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate." Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.' Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

By Bill Adler
A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner more...

By Bill Adler
A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by the Dixie Chicks played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late more...

By Bill AdlerA Teenager is...A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a Michael Jackson concert.A romantic more...

A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by the Back Street Boys played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner but more...