Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt". Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's birthday is coming up so she decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words "Beautiful butt" tattooed on her ass.
She walks in and tells the tattoo artist he husband thinks she has a beautiful butt. He looks and says, "You do have a beautiful butt". She then tells the man she wants Beautiful butt tattooed on her ass. The man tells her "I can't fit that on your ass, it takes up too much space. But I tell you what, I will tattoo the letters BB on each cheek and that can stand for beautiful butt. She agrees and gets it done.
On the man's birthday she hears him come home and is only wearing a robe. She then stands at the top of the stairs. He opens the door and she says "look honey." She then takes off the robe she is wearing, bends over, and the man yells more...

A most distinguished looking lady walks into a tattoo parlor, and sits down. The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated woman in his seedy tattoo shop, goes over to the woman immediately and asks if he can help her.

To his shock, and utter delight, she lifts her designer dress, and points to her left inner thigh-very high up. “Right here, ” she says, “I want you to tattoo a turkey with the word ‘Thanksgiving’ under it. ”
Then she points to her right inner thigh-just as high up-and says, “On this side, I want you to tattoo a Christmas tree, with lights and tinsel, and an angel on top. And underneath the tree I want the word ‘Christmas. ’”
The tattoo artist looks at her, puzzled. He says, “Lady, it’s none of my business, but that is the most unusual request I have ever had. Why in the world would you want that? ”
“Well, ” the lady said, “I’m sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there's never anything good more...

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, “Reebok. ” She thinks that is a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, “When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement. ” A bit later, his pants are off and she sees “Puma” tattooed on his leg.
He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word “AIDS” tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.
“I’m not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS! ” exclaims the woman.
Dennis Rodman replies, “It’s cool baby. In a minute it’s going to say ‘ADIDAS. ’”

When a man asked his girlfriend to marry him, she said that he would first have to prove his love for her by having her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. He agreed, went to the tattoo parlor, and got the tattoo. When it was erect it said Wendy, and if it was limp it said Wy.
Soon afterwards they married and went to a nude beach in Jamaica for their honeymoon. When the husband went to a stand on the beach to get some drinks, he noticed that the man serving him also had Wy tattooed on his penis.
"What a coincidence," the husband said, "You must have a wife named Wendy too."
"Oh no," the waiter replied, "Mine says, Welcome to Jamaica man, have a nice day!"

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok". She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it. Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!" He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".

This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it. Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?" She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.