Taps Jokes / Recent Jokes

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, "Youre sitting in my seat!" The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him hes sitting in his seat. The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. "I dont see your name on it." He sits down again and orders still another beer. "The man says... I know Karate!" The small Latino man says, "I know JUDO! JU DONT KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DONT KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!"

When telling this story the hands should be moved as if you are talking in
sign language.
Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking
to each other with sign language.
Mute #1 (SIGN)"What would you like to do?"
Mute #2 (SIGN)"I don't know, what about you?"
Mute #1 (SIGN)"Let's get my car, find some girls, drive to a dark space and
have some fun."
Mute #2 (SIGN)"Good idea."
So they get his car, find some girls, drive to a dark spot and are having a
ball when the guy in the back seat taps the guy in the front seat on the
shoulder...
Front Seat Mute (SIGN)"What?"
Back Seat Mute (SIGN)"Have you got any protection?"
Front Seat Mute (SIGN)"No. Don't you?"
Back Seat Mute (SIGN)"No. We had better go to a drug store and get some."
They proceed to drive to a drug store and the man in the back seat gets out
and goes more...

Heard from my sister-in-law, can't say where she heard it.
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his
wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns
over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a Gyn. appointment tomorrow."
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. Later, he rolls
back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear
"Do you have a Dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready." Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick. The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?"The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,' I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!

Two guys are driving through Alabama, when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The Trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the Trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's licence, and he's clean. He gives the guy his licence back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that jerk would've tried that more...