Sweet Jokes / Recent Jokes

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
and so are you
But the roses are wiltered
the violets are dead
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head!

Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet, sensitive men in this world? Because they already have boyfriends!

Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
Don't say you understand when you don't.
Girls are petty; get over it.
You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
If you talk about having a big dick; we know you don't.
Size does matter.
We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.
A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
We are drama queens.
Fashion police do exist.
Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
We more...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was thirsty, including the mouse.
The steins were all empty, the bottles were too,
The beer had been drunk with no time to brew.
My family was nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Christmas Ale foamed in their heads.
Mama in her kerchief lamented the drought,
She craved a pilsner and I, a stout.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen, I flew like a flash,
Opening the door with a loud bang and crash!
I threw on the switch and the lights, all aglow,
Gave a luster of mid-day to the brew-pot below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Gambrinus himself, the patron of beer.
With a look in his eye, so lively and quick,
He said, "You want beer? Well, here, take your pick."
More rapid than eagles, his recipes came,
As he more...

& Grandma of a boy don’t like eating medicine. So the boy went to the doctor and asked what he could do. The doctor tells him a trick. The boy came into home with some sweet and put the medicine inside it and gave it to Grandma to eat the sweet as she likes it very much. & After eating sweets the Grand son told to Grandma, “I am very happy to see that you have eaten all the sweets. ” Grand Ma replied, “Yes I have eaten all sweets but I didn’t like the seeds inside them and removed all seeds from it.

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from more...

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a more...