Surgery Jokes / Recent Jokes
Senator John Kerry, recovering from prostate surgery, was told it would be six weeks before he could be sexually active.
John Edwards called to wish Kerry well.
Al Sharpton called Kerry to offer prayers.
Howard Dean called with encouragement on recovery.
Bill Clinton called Teresa.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading, ''Keep off the grass.'' After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, ''Sorry, had to mow the lawn.''
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to ‘beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!" Animals
Beautiful? "There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because more...
While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."
A young woman with purple hair styled into a Mohawk, wearing strange clothing and sporting a variety of tattoos entered the hospital emergency room.
Upon examining her it was quickly determined that she had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was on the operating table, completely disrobed, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and there was a tattoo above it which read, 'Keep off the grass'.
After the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, saying, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn'.