Supervisors Jokes / Recent Jokes

From: Management
To: All Employees
Subject: Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality in the work and productivity
from our employees, it will now be our policy to regularly train everyone
through our longstanding program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than other offices. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your
supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list.
As you know, our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that you get all
the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in
the DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who
fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to attend the supplemantal
program, EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since your supervisors
took more...

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And the workers spoke among themselves, saying, "This is crock of shit, and it stinks." And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell." And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.." And the Vice Presidents went to the President, more...

In the beginning there was a Plan.
And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the faces of the Workers. And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung we can not live with the smell." And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong and none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke among themselves saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto their Vice Presidents saying unto them, "It promotes growth and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto more...

The following journal entry has been "borrowed" from a federal employee, whose name and occupation have been withheld for his or her protection.Dear Diary,Today was the same as any other day. I got to work 5 hours early in order to find parking in the Menial Federal Employee Parking Lot. It's mandatory that all employees park in the lot, although there are only 10 spots for 400 employees, but there is ample street parking.Then there is the Supervisor Lot, which has 50 spots for 2 supervisors. Our cars will be immediately towed if we park in the Supervisor Lot. Actually, one of the two supervisors does nothing but make sure that nobody else parks in the Supervisor Lot. He's currently making a six-figure salary.At the door, I had to show my building card to the security guard. He started telling me about his wife's problems. I told him I need to get to work, and he reminded me of the clause in my contract that stated that I have to listen to every story he wants to tell me.Six more...

In the Beginning was The Plan
And then came The Assumptions
and The Assumptions were without Form
And The Plan was completely without Substance.
And The Darkness was upon The Face of The Workers.
And they spoke amongst themselves, saying
"It is a Crock of Shit, and it stinketh."
And The Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a Pail of Dung and none may abide in the odor thereof."
And The Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them
"It is a Container of Excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And The Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a Vessel of Fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And The Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids Plant Growth, and it is very strong."
And The Directors went unto The Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It more...