Unto Jokes

For those of you that might not have heard the REAL story of Christmas, enjoy!
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should deliver. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and more...

And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?"And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."And Jesus said, "What?"

Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane
Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan
Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane
Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! -Darla
Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce
Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our more...

The chosen ones
And Moses said unto the lord, "We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"

The following are letters from children to GOD.

In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane
I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
-Darla
Thank you for the more...