Suite Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos.
When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won.
After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.
The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.
The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T.V.
The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city.
He realized he was all alone and needed someone to share his good fortune.
He called the front desk and told the clerk to send up one of the best, high-priced call girls in the city.
Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the more...

There were three ladies. A blonde, a burrnett and a red head. These three women were runing from the cops so they went and hid in a barn. The burrnett hid in a chichen suite, the red head hid in the cow suite, and the blonde hid in an empty potatoe sack. the cops then came in and kicked the chicken suite and the burrnett went cluck, cluck, cluck. so the cops moved on, they moved to the cow suite, they then kicked it . the red head went moooooooooooo. Then they kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went pootttaaatttoooeeesss.

NEW PRODUCT: MICROSOFT CONTRACEPTIVES
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of contraceptive'98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play.
It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive'98 suite consists of three products: Condom'98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package.
The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive'98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive'98 Small Business more...

NEW PRODUCT: MICROSOFT CONTRACEPTIVES

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.

Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.

The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small more...

There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress. On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"