Stupid Jokes / Recent Jokes
Patient: My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in aluminum foil, what's wrong with me? Doctor: You have far too much free time!
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
The lawyer cabled his client overseas:' Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?'
Back came the reply,' Take no chances - order all three.'
It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waste down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"
A black a puertorican and a hispanic are all in a car. Whos's driving?
The cops.
A man submitted an autobiography to a publisher. The publisher read the first 3 pages and said, ” I cant publish this book! Youre just writing a story about your car!
The man said, ” I know….. thats why they call it an auto-biography!! ”