Stranger Jokes / Recent Jokes
*** Pre-Mammogram Exercises! ***Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day with the following exercises a week before the exam, you will be totally prepared for the test -- and best of all -- you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home. EXERCISE ONE: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible -- and then lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough. EXERCISE TWO: Go into your garage at 3 a. m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just right. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. EXERCISE more...
A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish
at the lake (close to the farmer's house) and would always
leave with a stringer full of fish. The fellow had a boat
but a fishing pole was not to be seen. The farmer mentioned
the situation to the lake ranger. The ranger then started
watching this man and all that the farmer said was true! The
man would arrive at the lake in the morning and by early
afternoon, he had a stringer full of fish. The ranger dressed
like a fisherman one day and approached the man. They exchanged
pleasantries and the stranger asked the ranger in disguise to
come fish with him. They boated for 45 minutes and arrived at
a secluded spot. The stranger then pulled out a stick of dynamite.
Ranger: "I'm going to have to place you under arrest-I am
a Ranger and you are fishing illegally!"
The stranger calmly lit the stick of dynamite and handed it to
the ranger.
Stranger: "Are more...
A guy was sitting in a bar when a strangerwalked up to him and asked, "If you woke upin the woods and scratched your buttand felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?" "Hell no!" the guy said. The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into yourcrack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?" The man said, "Of course not." "Wanna go camping?"
The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state."
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
Once Santa Singh and his two friends went to the station to catch a local train. Santa: When will the next train to Kalyan arrive?
Stranger: In about ten minutes.
Santa(To his friends): Let us go and have a cup of coffee.
They miss the train because they are very busy with their coffee. Santa: When will the next train arrive?
Stranger: In about ten minutes.
Santa: Let us have another cup of coffee.
This time two of them catch the train but one Santa falls on the track. He starts laughing and a crowd gathers. A girl from the crowd asks: Why are you laughing.
Santa: Those two had come to leave me. I had to go.
If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth.